Here are the Top, Greatest, Most Incredible, Ultimate, Must See, Best Places in the World. Note please that this is a spoof article. Do not worry, I will not forgo my day job and become a comedy writer.
Travel articles with superlative adjectives are trite and vapid.
One of my pet peeves is seeing articles with titles containing superlative adjectives, like Best or Most or Top or Ultimate or Greatest; same with Worst or Least.
When I see such titles, I want to ask the author:
- did you really eat at every steakhouse in the United States?
- have you really visited every beach in the world?
Even if someone experienced EVERY person, place, or thing, our world is so dynamic and people, places, and things are in a continual state of change. Oh, and why the heck would someone update their “best” list every year. Did the cities / roads / suppliers / animals / food / beaches change from the previous year?
I asked the author of one such article (“10 Best <food item> in America”), how many places did you visit? The response was, “one, but I did extensive research on the others.”
Are you kidding me?
I guess that person is a decent researcher or writer but not a travel writer. By the way, I intentionally will not mention the <food item>, author’s gender, or other clues—to protect the guilty.
Certainly, I must have used such superlatives in the past. I now make an effort to use more appropriate themes like “8 Great” or “My Favorite.”
Some people, I expect, will skip this intro text and scan right to the following Heading and bullet points. You, my astute friend, will now know that the rest of this article is a spoof. I hope you are entertained.
Top, Greatest, Most Incredible Best Places in the World
Canada is the largest country in North America and second largest in the world, so it must be one of the best places in North America. USA is the most populous country in North America and also must be one of its top places. Other best places in North America include Mexico, Jamaica, Bahamas, and St. John (US Virgin Islands).
Brazil is one of the best places in South America because it has beautiful beaches and people. Patagonia is one of the best places because it has incredible steaks and red wine and extraordinary natural beauty.
Other best places in South America include Guyana (I have a neighbor from there), Venezuela (I like how it sounds), and Galapagos (it is the most remote place).
Spain is one of the best places in Europe (I was born in Spain!). Northern Ireland, Romania, England, and Germany are other best places in Europe, because my family ancestry can be traced to those countries.
South Africa heads the list of best places in Africa because it is the native land of Scarlett Johansson, Charlize Theron, and Ernie Els (a distant cousin). Morocco is one of the best places in Africa, well, since I actually went there.
Some of the best places in Asia include Thailand, India, and China, because I like their cuisine. Actually, I also like Afghan, Indonesian, Pakistan, Burmese, Korean, Vietnamese, and Himalayan food, so those must also be best places to visit in Asia.
I have a friend who has experienced massive changes in her homeland so Cambodia might make my next best places list.
Australia (and Oceania)
New Zealand must be one of the best places on Earth because Lord of the Rings was filmed there. Tonga makes my list of best places solely based on the rugby war chant. Australia, of course, is one of the best places with its gorgeous people and scenery—but stick to the beaches (not the water) and cities to avoid their dangerous animals.
Antarctica is one of the best places to visit around the South Pole.
The only thing to see in the oceans will kill you—like hurricanes, cyclones, icebergs, and sharks. The best places remain on land. Sorry. Maybe next time, oceans.
Any other best ultimate greatest must see places in the world you would recommend?